I desperately needed to change my life. I was drinking all night and sleeping all day, randomly sobbing uncontrollably about my ex-girlfriend, and in a constant low-grade rage about nothing working out for me.
My progress was really slow. 2 flat miles at a time, 3 days a week. 11:10/mi. I kept at it, mile by mile, grimly determined to grind it out for about a month and then relapsed hard. A few weeks went by in a blur, and I was back to the same spot: locked in a mighty, mighty struggle against an avalanche of self pity, depression and alcohol abuse. I was ready to just pack it all in and just give in to the depression and apathy. Somehow the concept of just putting one foot in front of the other as a way of returning to actually trying to realize my potential seemed like enough reason to lace up my shoes again. I love running for this: every time I don't want to go, it's a small enough obstacle to just put my shoes on and put one foot in front of the other…
403.06 miles later and my shoes are cooked. I'm really sad to see them go, almost as if a part of my soul is in these shoes–-I'm honestly misty-eyed because I feel like we ran out of my own personal hell together. And although I'd like to take some good pictures, and make a more thoughtful post than this, I'd also like to emphasize that sometimes you just have to act instead of waiting for the right time, or the best .
One step at a time, you can change your life. But you have to take a fucking step, even if it's on wobbly legs in the wrong direction (I was semi-drunk on my first run, which is dumb and dangerous and should not be imitated). I don't know what the solutions will be to your problems, but I know that you will only find them if you try, and you aren't trying unless you take action–-the trying happens in the physical world, not in your head.
I recently ran a 6:30/mi on a grade. All in all, I lost 10lbs while gained a lot of muscle. Honestly I don't care what the numbers are: I feel good, and I'm finally in a place where I feel strong and am willing take responsibility for my life and happiness.
NSFW-ish underwear Pics: http://imgur.com/a/9a2uB
Big props to everyone in this community. Thanks especially to whoever made the post that inspired me to get running shoes.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” –
Goethe William Hutchinson Murray